the doer of deeds
the doer of deeds Podcast
C4 Challenge #18 - Connection

C4 Challenge #18 - Connection

A handwritten letter to your beloved.

Alright men. About a month ago, my wife and I sat down together to answer a bunch of questions on relationships. The recording is broken up into three separate parts so that they aren’t so difficult to download and listen to. These were posted for paid subscribers on the Slowdown Farmstead substack.

St Paul writing his Epistles. Vanetine de Boulogne. Circa 1618.

This C4 challenge post will give you the opportunity to listen to these three parts here, on “The Doer of Deeds”. Due to Substack constraints these will come out as three different posts. I’ll post part two and three at sunrise over the next two days.

I’m going to borrow from my wife’s descriptions of the three parts:

Part 1 - “On making decisions, finding your person, discipline, the toll of longterm illness, raising independent/confident kids, a wholistic approach to health in a sick care system, and more” (90 min).

Part 2 - “In this episode we chat about boundaries, unhealthy relationships, evolving relationships with children as they grow, finding time for each other when kids are small and a ton more things I’ve forgotten. Hope you all find a few helpful nuggets in what we share” (69 min).

Part 3 - “In this final episode of our three part adventure, we discuss more pickles, quandaries, and strategies in the sometimes challenging relationships in marriage, parenting, and extended family. Hubs and I gibber-on about what’s worked for us, things we’ve learned, what seemed like failure at the time (but turned out to be pretty good), and offer up some encouragement for those of you with young babes underfoot, not sure if you’re headed in the right direction” (40 min).

Given that this is a character challenge, I still do have a challenge for you. Back in C4 Challenge #2 you were challenged to take stock of your relationships. Now, almost four months later, I’d like you to go back to your recorded answers in your journal. Review what you wrote.

My CHARACTER CHALLENGE for you today, is to reflect on your beloved(s) attributes, characteristics, and traits. What do you love the most and are most grateful for? Your task is put this into a handwritten note to your beloved. This is no hallmark card that you will purchase. This is not a poem or poetry that you will recite. This is not waiting for a special occasion. This is simply you taking a pen, some nice paper, and writing a loving letter to your beloved, now.

  1. Task. As part of your AM reflection over the next four days, reflect on your relationship with your beloved and what you are most grateful for. Think of your relationship, your connection, and your love. NLT the fifth day after this challenge, your task is to write a handwritten letter to your beloved(s) and describe in detail what it means to be in a loving relationship with them. Speak from your heart. Use your own words. Do not quote poetry or poems. Do not buy a card. Use a pen, nice paper, and put it in an envelope addressed simply with their name. The occasion is just because. You are not waiting for Valentine’s Day or their birthday, the occasion is this moment. If you feel that you are having a hard time finding the words, or that you are not a romantic, look close at your reflections over days 1-4 on what you appreciate most about your beloved(s). Use these reflections as the foundation and inspiration for your letter. Sometimes it is writing and describing the small things that they do (or are) because this makes them feel seen and appreciated.

  2. Tools required. Pen/pencil, journal, your love, and your commitment to your beloved(s).

  3. Time. Dedicate 30 minutes every AM over the next four days to reflect on your love, connection, and gratitude for your beloved. Dedicate 30 minutes on the fifth day to translate your thoughts from these reflections into a handwritten note to your beloved. The note MUST be written in pen and have no words or sentences crossed out. If you make a mistake, start over. The end product must reflect your dedication and motivation to express your whole hearted gratitude and love through words written on paper, in pen, by your own hand.

  4. Deadline. NLT 1300hrs, 5 days from now there will be an After Action Review chat thread to discuss your reflections on this challenge and the ease and/or difficulty you had in completing this task.

  5. Navigation backstop. Your beloved could be your wife, your sister/brother, your mother/father, or your dearest friend. It doesn’t matter, just pick one and get it done. No excuses. No delay. There is no backstop for getting a handwritten letter completed in the next five days.

NEXT ACTION STEP. The nineteenth C4 challenge will be a “capacity challenge” and will be posted at first (over this big hunk of Canadian Shield my wife and I call home) on the third quarter of the “blue” moon (Aug 24th).

Thank you for reading the doer of deeds. This post is public so feel free to share it.


the doer of deeds
the doer of deeds Podcast
Where have the real, authentic men gone? Hard times are upon us. It is time to challenge yourself to forge character, connection, contribution, and capacity to honourably serve life, your beloveds, and your community. Join me and become "a man among men"
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